http://ridanos.com/wife.htm

 

 

 

我妻子的一个年轻的亲戚给我写了这样一封信,出于保护她的隐私,在此我将信中的称谓做了技术处理,以下是她的信和我的回复(红色部分为我的答复):

 

 

UU您好:

  

 

 

我现在还是称呼您是UU的,代表我现在还承认您是我的长辈,我会充分尊重你。我仔细认真的看完了你发给我的网站里的所有内容,我不知道你为什么要告诉我这些。这对于我现在的社会阅历来说,这一切都太复杂了。不过现在,既然我知道了这些事,那么我也要站在我的立场,和你说几句话。

 

我的答复:

(NN,你好

       谢谢你还视我为UU,但其实我和静萍已经分居并且离婚手续也已经在进行中,事实上我已经不再是你的UU了。你说的很对,你才20岁,不应该掺杂到成人的纠纷中来,但你有权知道真相,虽然真相很残酷。)

 

 

     首先感谢你在中国期间,您与我和我的家人相处得很愉快,您和我分享了您的猫的视频和其他视频,还一起去摘了草莓,看了我们桂林神奇的喀斯特地貌的钟乳石还看了一座15米长清明上河图的立体木雕。感谢您和我们一起玩得开心。在您和静萍离开中国并前往挪威的直至现在的这段日子里,我不清楚你们之间到底发生了什么,但你应该相信你们当初是因为爱才结合在一起的。

 

我的答复:

(我并不否认我在桂林度过了很愉快的时光,而且我其实很 怀念在桂林的美好时光,我也很疑惑为什么当静萍到了挪威,她对我的态度就改变了。要知道在桂林的时候,我的确相信我们是相爱的。可是来到挪威后,她就开始慢慢转变了。)

 

其次,也许是文化差异的原因,使你与我的家人产生了许多误解和不愉快,但是请您不要把这些您与我家人的家庭琐事上升为中国人的道德标准的评判,这是愚蠢的。道德,指衡量行为正当与否的观念标准。不同的对错标准来自于特定生产能力、生产关系和生活形态下自然形成的。一个社会一般有社会公认的道德规范。只涉及个人、个人之间、家庭等的私人关系的道德,称私德;涉及社会公共部分的道德,称为社会公德。群体的道德意识往往会变成对他人的指责,在现代,道德观已经回归到个体的自我检视,对他人的批判不叫道德,对自己行为的反省才是。指责只会带来争吵,一味的指责他人,在我看来不是个正常男人应该做的事情。

 

 

我的答复:

(我和静萍之间的沟通不良,的确有文化差异的因素在里面,但更多是对同一事物的不同标准。比如说,我是绝对不能接受无照驾驶还肇事逃逸的,静萍的弟弟就是这样一个例子,可是静萍,当她知道她弟弟做出了这样的事情,她想到的只是要弄钱,帮他还钱,免得他被抓或者被告,这样一来,下一次她的弟弟闯了什么祸,静萍还是会帮他擦屁股,她的弟弟永远都不会做一个负责任的男人。你的信里面,很多都是网络或书本上抄来的文字,你有没有真正理解这些文字背后的含义呢?尽信书不如无书,这也是你们中国的话,你自己的道德观,世界观,又是怎么样的?)

    

  

 

再次,您借用舆论的力量,是为了证明什么?您是想说明你是受害者么?同样一句中国话送您:恶人先告状。我的家人们并不想给我知道你与我家人之间发生的种种,而让我首先接触这事的是通过你,我有充分理由怀疑你的动机,你是想破坏我们家庭的内部团结。中国人讲究一日夫妻百日恩,十年修得同船渡,百年修得共枕眠,宁拆十座庙,不拆一桩婚。我的家人都是传统的中国人,中国人无论做什么事都不外乎一个情字。你作为一个挪威人,你在接受西方文化的同时,可能对亲情的理解有所丧失。你是永远不会明白中国人所理解的骨肉亲情,血浓于水。你知道什么是孔融让梨么?你知道什么是卧冰求鲤么?你知道什么情同手足么?请等你明白了这些典故的时候再来好好的看待这个网站所编写的内容。您在您的QQ空间里所写的是为了让更多的中国人来批判我们一家人么?是为了让更多无知的不明真相的人民群众陷入你的苦情戏中么?这是对大众的不负责任。网络是虚拟社会,但虚拟社会与现实社会密不可分,直接关系现实社会的和谐稳定。网络谣言把谎言包装成事实,将猜测翻转成存在,在网上兴风作浪,扰乱人心。如果任其横行,将严重扰乱社会秩序,影响社会稳定,危害社会诚信。诚信是中华民族传统美德。是华夏民族最崇尚的品质。我不愿意看见有那么多的人受谣言的蒙蔽,从而为虎作伥、助纣为虐。您寒的是人性,凉的是人心。

 

我的答复:

(其实这整件事并不是我先借用了舆论的力量。恶人先告状这句话应该用在静萍身上,因为她先去诬告我家暴她,我才会运用网络媒体来宣传一些关于这件事的真相。因为她对我的诬告,已经造成了实质的损害,我的很多朋友都不跟我来往,以为我是一个只会打女人的男人,而其实我连一根手指头都没有动过静萍。你跟我说一日夫妻百日恩,十年修得同船渡,百年修得共枕眠,宁拆十座庙,不拆一桩婚,不念夫妻恩,想要拆散这段婚姻的,是静萍,你要知道,从她走进妇女庇护中心并告我家暴开始,她就不打算要这段婚姻了。在此之前,我只是希望她回到桂林,把她的财务问题处理好,她借了银行那么多钱,还有她的弟弟在外面问别人借钱也要她来还,她在股市里也套牢了很多钱,不但不割肉还想着要继续往里面投钱,我不希望她这样把钱都折腾掉,我希望她把这些财务问题处理好然后再回到挪威来,可是她却直接走进了妇女庇护所。我作为一个西方人,也许对你们东方的文化不是最了解,但是至少我知道做一个对自己,也对别人负责的人,静萍的弟弟,他知道吗?静萍为了他付出了多少,你知道吗?静萍这一生被弟弟拖累了多少,你知道吗?现在她的弟弟还在继续拖累静萍,静萍做任何事情都为他所左右,包括她做出诬告我的决定,也是他在背后出主意,她的弟弟不但自己是一个不负责任的人,他还教唆别人也成为一个不负责任的人,这是我不能接受的。每个人如果都把自己管好,就不会有这么多事情了。你觉得我在破坏你们家庭内部的团结,如果你们家庭内部真的那么团结,我一个外人又怎么能够破坏呢?你是高中生了,以后还会要读大学吧?先学会独立思考吧。)

 

 

 

 

最后,请您停止损害我家人的名誉和隐私等合法权益,包括静萍,静萍的妹妹,和静萍的弟弟。我非常不喜欢陌生人对我的家人评头论足。更不愿意他们把这些个当作饭后笑料,抑或是与他人讨论的谈资。如果角色对换,你愿意遭受这样的对待么?你也知道:孔子曾经说过己所不欲勿施于人。.我不知道你把这些做成个网站是什么意思,是为了得到更多不明真相的人的支持么?不管你们挪威的法律是怎样,在中华人民共和国侵权责任法和中国民法通则对于您这样的行为有明确规定。

 

我的答复:

(我很愿意把我上传到网络的东西都撤下来,只要静萍也撤销对我的诬告并且帮助我恢复名誉,她愿意吗?你能说服她吗?恐怕你作为小辈,在家里都没有发言权吧,静萍的弟弟牢牢控制了静萍,为了满足他自己的欲望,强迫静萍留在挪威挣钱,如果你是静萍,你愿意吗?你辛苦挣来的钱全部都汇回国,给弟弟还债,而且你不知道什么时候他又欠了一屁股债要你还。静萍很想她的儿子,可是却不能回国看儿子,她其实在这里也很辛苦的,本来如果她在挪威,即使我们离婚,我也没有任何意见,因为作为西方人,我们是独立的个体,离婚后她在不在挪威,跟我是没有关系的,可是我不能接受她通过诬告我来达到留在挪威的目的。己所不欲勿施于人这句话,你也应该对她说才对,如果不是她先诬告我,我又怎么会在网上上传那些东西呢。)

 

 

 

 

 

 

附注:

 

中华人民共和国侵权责任法第二条民事权益范围(关于隐私权

1、未经公民许可,公开其姓名、肖像、住址、身份证号码和电话号码。

2、私拆他人信件,偷看他人日记,刺探他人私人文件内容,以及将他们公开。

3、调查、刺探他人社会关系并非法公诸于众。

4、收集公民不愿向社会公开的纯属个人的情况。

5、未经他人许可,私自公开他人的秘密。

6、泄露公民的个人材料或公诸于众或扩大公开范围。

 

中国民法通则第一百四十条规定

以书面、口头等形式宣扬他人的隐私,或者捏造事实公然丑化他人人格,以及用侮辱、诽谤等方式损害他人名誉,造成一定影响的,应当认定为侵害公民名誉权的行为。

 

中华人民共和国侵权责任法第一章第第三条:

被侵权人有权请求侵权人承担侵权责任。

 

中华人民共和国侵权责任第二章第六条

行为人因过错侵害他人民事权益,应当承担侵权责任。

根据法律规定推定行为人有过错,行为人不能证明自己没有过错的,应当承担侵权责任。

 

中华人民共和国侵权责任法第二章第十五条

承担侵权责任的方式主要有:

(一)停止侵害

(二)排除妨碍

(三)消除危险

(四)返还财产

(五)恢复原状

(六)赔偿损失

(七)赔礼道歉

(八)消除影响、恢复名誉。

以上承担侵权责任的方式,可以单独适用,也可以合并适用

 

我的答复:

(2013年十月十日之前,我从来没有想过要损害静萍的妹妹的名誉和隐私权等等,这是因为在此之前,她也从来没对我做过什么。此外,关于此前静萍和她弟弟的种种事情,静萍的妹妹还给了我一些有用的信息,并且也表示她是并不赞同静萍弟弟的为人的。她痛恨静萍的弟弟的谎言,欺骗的行为,而且强烈反对把大量的金钱用到这个兄弟身上,她知道这些钱都是有去无回,静萍的弟弟是个无底洞。因此,我一直认为静萍的妹妹的道德观是很正确的,道德水准比静萍高得多,我一度很赞赏她。可是有一天,她在我的QQ空间发表了如下一段文字:

 

 2013107

            宁告诉我姐姐:宁和你到曼谷约会。在2011年,宁住在你家,趁我姐姐不在家,你已经勾引宁,在201212月,你又诬陷我姐姐,说:我姐姐需要宁帮助在丹麦找男人,真可笑,这个时间,宁早已被丹麦警方遣送回国,这是你和宁狼狈为奸诬陷我姐姐,现在你们俩人又去曼谷约会,事实证明理查德,你是有婚外情。违背婚姻。你诬陷我姐姐,你是恶人。

 

我可以理解因为我和静萍,她的姐姐分开了,而且我在网上公开了静萍撒谎,欺骗移民局等种种所为,静萍的妹妹对我很生气。但是我不能原谅她恶意的诽谤中伤宁,捏造事实说我和宁在2011年就已经苟且。事实上,宁在得知我和静萍的事情后,还多次劝我把网上的内容撤下来,大事化小,不要让矛盾激化。我对静萍的妹妹很失望,她为了亲情,可以攻击一个无辜的人。你们的血浓于水就是可以违背一切良心,道德准则,把脏水泼在一个无辜的人身上吗?更何况,你们中国也有大义灭亲,王子犯法与庶民同罪,无论这个人是你的家人还是朋友,如果他犯了错,就应该低头认错,改正错误,作为家人和朋友,应该帮助和鼓励他去改正错误,而不是纵容,包庇罪犯!)

 

 

 

 

我爱我的家人,但我明白是非对错,可是我看见的你所表达出来的内容都太让我失望,我更愿意相信这些与我共同生活了二十年的家人。此番信件仅代表我个人观点,皆是我的肺腑之言,对于请原谅我无法用英语和你交流,毕竟中华上下五千年文化,博大精深,有些词语我是无法用英语来表达的。祝您身体健康。

 

 

    

                                                   静萍的NNNN

                                                 二〇一三年十月十六日

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://ridanos.com/wife.htm

My wife's a young relatives wrote me this letter out to protect her privacy , and I will do the title of the letter technical processing , the following is her letter and my reply ( the red part of my reply ) :


UU Hello :
   

 
I still call you that UU 's behalf I still acknowledge that you are my elders , I will fully respect you. I have read carefully the website where you sent me all the content , I do not know why you want to tell me this. This social experience for me now , it 's all too complicated. But now , since I know these things , then I have to stand on my position , and you say a few words.


 

My answer :
(NN, hello
       
Thank you regard me as a UU, but in fact, and I have separated and divorcing my wife has also been progress, in fact I am no longer your UU it. You're quite right, you only 20 years old and should not be doped into adult disputes in the past, but you have the right to know the truth , although the truth is cruel. )


     
Thank you in China during , you and I and my family are a happy , you and I have shared your cat videos and other videos , but also pick strawberries together , read our magical Guilin karst stalactites also saw a 15 meters long painting three-dimensional carvings . Thank you and we have fun together . You and your wife leave China and go to Norway until now these days , I do not know what happened between you in the end , but you should believe that you had before because of love combined .

My answer :
( I do not deny that I spent in Guilin great time , and I really miss the good old days in Guilin , and I am wondering why when my wife to Norway , she told me the attitude has changed. Want to know Guilin , I do believe that we are in love . , but came to Norway , she began to slowly change it. )

Secondly , and perhaps cultural reasons for the differences , so that you and my family had a lot of misunderstandings and unpleasant , but please do not put these you are with my family's household chores up for the Chinese people 's moral standards to judge , this is stupid. Ethics, conduct legitimate means to measure whether or not the concept of standards. Standards of right and wrong come from different specific production capacity, production relations and naturally formed under lifestyle . A society generally socially accepted code of ethics. Involves only individuals, between individuals , families and other personal relationships of ethics, called private morality ; involving public part of the moral community called morality . Groups tend to become moral consciousness of others accused in the modern , morality has returned to the individual's self- view , criticism of others is not called morality, reflect on their own behavior is. Accused only bring quarrels, blindly blame others , in my opinion not a normal man should do .


My answer :
( Communication between me and my wife poor indeed cultural differences of factors in there , but more of the same thing in different standards , for example, I absolutely can not accept still hit and run driving without a license , my wife's brother is one such example , but my wife , when she knew her brother made ​​such a thing , she thought only to get money to help him pay back the money , that he was arrested or where the defendant , so that the next time she What my brother got into trouble, or will help him wipe my wife , her brother will never be a responsible man. your letter inside, many of which are on the network or copied text books , you have not really to understand the meaning behind these words do ? " do not believe the book as no book ", which is your Chinese words , your own morality , worldview , and is kind of how ? )
     
   

Again, you borrow the force of public opinion , in order to prove what ? You want to show that you are the victim it ? You get the same Chinese word : blame . My family does not want to give me and my family know that you place between the various , but let me first contact with these things is through you , I have good reason to suspect your motives , you want to destroy our unity within the family . Chinese people pay attention to ' the 1st couple hundred days grace ', ' Ten years of cultivation the same boat , a bed sleep a hundred years of cultivation ,' rather demolished ten Temple, do not split a marriage ' . My family are the traditional Chinese people , Chinese people are either doing nothing more than a "feeling" words. You, as a Norwegian , you accept the western culture , while the understanding of the family may have lost. You will never understand Chinese people understand kinship , thicker than water . You know what is Kongrongrangli it ? Do you know what lay on the ice carp it ? Do you know what brothers what ? Please wait for you to understand these allusions come when properly view this site written content. You in your QQ space is written to allow more Chinese people to criticize us a man? Is to let more people know the truth ignorant masses into thy affliction drama it ? It is irresponsible to the public . Network is a virtual community , but the virtual community and social reality are inseparable, directly related to the reality of social harmony and stability. Internet rumors to lie packed into the "facts " will guess flipping into a " presence " in the online trouble and disturbing . If allowed to run amok, will seriously disrupt social order , affect social stability and endanger social integrity . Honesty is the traditional Chinese virtues . Is the most respect for the quality of the Chinese nation . I do not want to see that there are so many people deceived by rumors , which Weihuzuochang , do evil . You cold is human, is cool people .

My answer :
( In fact, this whole thing is not my first borrowed the force of public opinion . " Blame " this sentence should be used in my wife who falsely accused me of domestic violence because she went to her , I will use the network media to promote something about the truth of this matter , because she told me false accusation has caused substantial damage to many of my friends are not dealing with me , just thought I was a man playing a woman , and in fact, I have even a finger untouched my wife you told me that ' the 1st couple hundred days grace ', ' ten years of cultivation the same boat , a bed sleep a hundred years of cultivation ,' rather demolished ten Temple, do not split a marriage ', do not read the couple Well , you want to break up the marriage , is my wife , you know, from her into the women's shelters and domestic violence began to tell me that she does not intend to marriage .. In the meantime, I just want her back to Guilin , to handle her financial problems , she borrowed so much money banks , as well as her brother to ask someone to borrow money on the outside to have her still , she stuck in the stock market is also a lot of money , not only did not flesh also thought to continue to drive investment money , so I do not want her to toss out the money , I hope she deal with these financial issues and then come back to Norway , but she walked straight into a women's shelter . I, as a Westerners , perhaps you are not the most understanding of Eastern culture , but at least I know to do one pair of themselves, but also the person responsible for others , my wife's brother, he know ? my wife how much to pay for him , you know ? my wife dragged by her brother in this life how much you know ? now her brother continues to drag my wife , my wife do anything for him around , including her false accusation made ​​my decision , but also his ideas behind her brother is not only that he is an irresponsible person , he also instigated others to become an irresponsible person , which is not acceptable to me and each person who regarded themselves manage , there would be so many things of you think I'm in the destruction of unity within your family , if you are really that unity within the family , I am an outsider and how to destroy it ? are you a high school student , and later it will be going to college ? bar first learn to think independently . )




Finally , please stop harm my family's reputation and privacy and other legal rights, including your wife , your wife's sister, and your wife's brother. I do not like strangers to my family finds fault . More reluctant they brought them a meal as a joke , or discuss with others in conversation. If the role on the exchange, you are willing to suffer this kind of treatment it ? You know : Confucius once said, ' Do unto others not do to others .' I do not know if you make one of these sites is what is meant is to get more people know the truth of the support it ? No matter what your Norwegian law , the People's Republic of China Tort Law and Civil Law for your such behavior are clearly defined.


My answer :
( I am willing to put my things are uploaded to the network removed , as long as the withdrawal of my wife also falsely accused me and help me restore the reputation , she is willing to do ? You can convince her? 'm Afraid you as a junior , did not speak at home right now , my wife brother firmly in control , in order to satisfy his own desires , forcing his sister stay in Norway to make money, if you are my wife , will you ? your hard-earned money all repatriated , debt to his brother , and you do not know when he owed ​​a debt ass to you . my wife miss her son , but they can not return to see his son , she is actually very hard here, too , would have been if she Norway , even if we divorce, I do not have any comment , because, as Westerners , we are independent of the individual, after the divorce, she was not in Norway, is not related to me , but I can not accept her to achieve through false accusations I stay in Norway purposes. ' do unto others not do to others ' this sentence, you should say to her fishes, if not her first framed me , how could I have uploaded those things yet. )






Note:

People's Republic of Tort Law Article civil rights and interests range ( on privacy )
1 , without citizen permission to disclose their name, likeness , address , ID number and phone number.
2 , private demolition others letters, diaries others peep , spying the contents of private files of others , and to them publicly .
3 , investigation, spy on others, social relations and illegally made ​​public.
4 , the collection to the public of citizens do not want to purely personal situation.
5 , without their permission , unauthorized publishing of people 's secrets.
6 , individual citizens leaked material or made ​​public or expand the scope of the disclosure .

Chinese Civil Law Article 140 provides that:
In writing, orally in the form of other people 's privacy , or fabricating facts openly vilify others personality , as well as the use of insults , libel or other means to damage the reputation of others , some impact , it should be recognized as an honorary citizen the right to act against .

PRC Tort Liability Act , Chapter Article III:
Infringement of the right to request the infringer to bear tort liability.

People's Republic of Tort Liability Chapter Article VI:
Due to fault of the perpetrator against the civil rights of others , shall bear tort liability .
According to the law presumed perpetrator is at fault , the perpetrator can not prove that he is not at fault , should bear tort liability.

People's Republic of Tort Law Chapter II Article XV :
Tort liability approach are:
( A ) stop the infringement
( Two ) removal of obstacles
( Three ) eliminate the hazard
( Four ) return of property
( Five ) restitution
( Six ) damages
( Seven ) apology
( Eight ) to eliminate the impact of rehabilitation .
These bear tort liability approach can be applied individually , or you can apply in combination


My answer :

( On 10 October 2013 , I never thought to damage the reputation of my wife's sister and privacy , etc. This is because before , she had never done anything to me . Moreover , with regard to the previous my wife and her brother all the things that my wife's sister gave me some useful information , and also said that she does not agree with my wife's brother and she hated his brother's lies, deception behavior and strongly opposed to the amount of money used in this brother who, she knew that the money is never to return , my wife's brother is a bottomless pit , so I always think my wife's sister morality is correct , ethical standards much higher than my wife , I once admired her , but one day, she is in my QQ space made ​​the following passage:

 
October 7, 2013
Ning told my sister : Ning and you go to Bangkok dating. In 2011 , Ning stay at your house , while my sister was not at home , you have to seduce rather , in December 2012 , you have framed my sister and said: My sister needs rather help to find a man in Denmark , really funny, this time Ning Danish police have already been repatriated , this is your and Ning collusion framed my sister , and now you two went to Bangkok dating proved Richard , you are having an affair . Contrary to marriage. You framed my sister , you are wicked .

 

I can understand that because I'm divorcing her sister and I and publicly exposing her attempts to gain a Norwegian residence permit through lies the younger sister is very angry at me.

But I can not forgive her malicious slander regarding Ning, fabricating facts to say that I am rather in 2011 and has been struggling . In fact, Ning repeatedly advised me to put online content removed , trivialize , do not let conflicts . I am very disappointed my wife's sister , her in order to affection, can attack an innocent person . Your " flesh and blood " is that you can go against all conscience , ethics , the dirty water poured on an innocent person do ? What's more, you Chinese have "severing ", " Prince of offense and the common people with the crime ," whether this person is your family or a friend , if he made ​​a mistake, they should bow to admit and correct mistakes, as family and friends, should help and encouraged him to correct the error , and not condoned , harboring criminals ! )




I love my family , but I understand right and wrong , but I see the content you express are too let me down, I prefer to believe them to live together with my family for two decades . This time the letter represents only my personal point of view , are all my heart and soul, please forgive me for not communicate with you in English , after all, five thousand years of Chinese culture is profound, some words I can not use English to express. I wish you good health.


     
                                                  xx
of NN: NN
                                                 
October 16, 2013